The convenient & misleading myth of something called "Vibes"

(Credits - anonymous, via Internet)

Mate 1: ....you know we should end it here. Its has been a good time together...

Mate 2: ...but....why?

Mate 1: ....all these years...the ups & downs together...hope we remain on good terms hereafter...

Mate 2: .....please don't say that....atleast let me know why?

Mate 1: ....I don't know how to put it in words...but well..you see..our vibes have changed...you don't give me the same vibes as before....

.....Vibes..... Familiar isn't it? Just close your eyes for a moment and try to recollect the many times when we hear this word or use it, so casually and unconsciously, in so many myraid situations and circumstances, for almost anything and everything according to our convenience that it's no longer possible to imagine a world where there was no conception of it. The word has achieved sort of preminence that now it seems that it was prior to idea of relationship itself.

But first of all let's ask ourselves, what does it mean, if at all it has any meaning. The most readily available and accepted defination for it would be "a person's emotional state or the atmosphere of a place as communicated to and felt by others." The last words of the above line itself clearly shows the two edged swordish nature of Vibes. How it is communicated or felt or who is the interpreter of it? Isn't the one who holds the dominant place in relation often the one who mostly talks about it, defining the Vibes of the day according to mood swings of his/her own. As the ambit of Vibes lies in vague boundary such as "emotional state" or "atmosphere" of someone else felt by someone else, it clearly turns the whole thing to nothing but momentary impressions of someone made to sound like eternity on which decisions could be made, decisions of relationship and life.

The most problematic aspect of the notion of Vibes is that it serves as very convenient tool of justification of most irrational sorts of breaking up of relationships. As above illustrated, the capability of interpretation lies with the one who holds dominant place i.e. the one who first realises he/she can be perfectly fine and get on with life post relation and thus wishes to cut of the "additional baggage", change of vibes serve as most perfect excuse for effecting it. How to convince someone that something hasn't changed when you don't know what has changed or not. Someone can rightly say change in vibes mirror change in relationship dynamics but if that's the case why not talk about actual things that have changed than beating around the bush.

And from this stems the second most problematic aspect of it, it's use as a diversionary tactic. When the discourse revolves around the hazy and abstract thing as change of vibes it essentially involves ejection of discussion around all more essential topics such as where the problem started actually? What is the actual bundle of problems that needs to be addressed? The exact instances of misunderstandings? What changes to make peace with and what to reverse back?

It grounds an irrational attitude towards momentary flux of sensations with solidity and unquestioning self belief because no one other than the person itself is the sole arbitraror of it. It reeks of selfishness. It forcloses any scope of convincing attempts as it is never sure what you are trying to convince at all. It also allows us pschcyologicaly to decide something first in our mind (for example, liking/disliking someone) and then base it in vibes thus exposing the basic contradiction of it, vibes aren't emanating from someone else but creation of your own mind, neither permanent nor rational, but just a momentary urge towards something unknown but suddenly desirable.

The idea of Vibes has now achieved such an overarching dominance in our public and private conversations that even questioning it's existence, legitmacy and relevance can invoke serious and I must add sincere but baffling disbelief. One such incident I encountered recently in a Cafè hangout along with friends and from their the idea of this blog took it's birth. To sum it up, the problem with vibes is basically the problem of vague solidity of the word itself as it plays into the hands of one wishing to wash away him/herself away from a relation without taking any blame for it, nor giving any convincing reason for it, perfectly and cynically captured in the lines of Vikram Seth's poem "Interpretation" -

"Somewhere within your loving look I sense,
Without the least intention to deceive,
Without suspicion, without evidence,
Somewhere within your heart the heart to leave."

--- Bhuvan Krishna

     (14.02.2023)